If you are in a happy mood and don't want to ruin the rest of the following minutes, then this post isn't meant for you.
If you are feeling that you have lost everything and even the little bit hope to pursue the life. Then let's share this post.
Yes, upto this point of my life. I had something that drives me and my life towards something that I wish for.
I had a lot and a lot of dreams, aspirations, bla bla bla bla.
But in a typical world which compares a football player with a cricket player. You can't expect such bigger dreams and aspirations to sustain without much effort.
Because while weighing those dreams with those high packaged salaries. Your dreams won't even equate a single penny.
Even though I lost in the salary battle. I had some hope that one day will be mine and i am keen on fighting that I am also worth something and deserve something.
So, instead of weighing an empty dream. I want to make it an reality. I wanted to give it a shape.
So began shaping it.
I don't have the enough tools.
So what, I do have hands.
The construction began with the bare hands. Now the bricks and mortars going to make it a real thing. I am inspired by the progress of it and pursued it further.
Again the rest of the world saw it an incomplete building and don't perceived any value in it.
Oh, I see. I don't perceive any value in the world either.
So, the process continues and going on and on and on.
The more time it takes the backpressure grows.
At some point, I had to face those pressure for lifting each brick which resulted in the reduction of amount of available resources and energy.
Here comes the twist, Now I do have hands but run out of bricks and energy.
At last that ghost got in me. Yes, Fear taken over me and I doubt myself and the completion of the dream.
To continue the work and complete my wish. I need, need a lot of bricks and energy. So what to do now.
I have two choices. Either to buy resources by selling my time or drop the dream.
The interesting part is that I am going to drop the dream in either way. The second choice will made it instantly. And first give me some hope and then chop my dream like a chopper.
And another thing is that i am forced to sell my time either way.
So what am I heading for and what am I hoping for.
That will never happen I know.
Because selling time means postponing the dream and postponing the dream drives more pressure. And facing the pressure takes more resources. And all of it spiral into a cycle.
So I had to sell my time in either way. And I am going to kill my dream either way. So why should I pursue the life further.
Is it to prove to that intellectual world that I am incapable, that I am a failure or I lost.
Here comes the solution.
Just turn it off.
Put myself out of the battle.
Name myself as an idiot.
Tag myself as failure and live like a dumb.
That's it.
Now what they are going to do about me.
Calling me coward for withdrawing from the battle. Or criticize me for the failures. Or prove me as incapable or dumb or something.
Whatever they throw at me. I can take it easily.
Because i know that I am a dumb right. I know i am heading to prove that I am an idiot right.
So what does going to hurt me.
Nothing.
Atlast I myself found a remedy to my long lasting battle.
Now I am in a state of calm. No more worries. Don't have to prove myself to anyone.
So let me further to sell my time. Earn some bucks and spend that bucks to spend more time. Let it be continued till my last moment of life.
At last now my life going to be at a fast pace that I never enjoyed in my entire life.
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